Thursday, August 18, 2011

They Don't Understand...

   I had an interesting conversation with a friend this morning.  There seems to be a theme because I had the same conversation with someone else last week.  What is the theme?  Judgement.  We are all so quick to judge others, without knowing their circumstances.  Let me explain...
   We all make judgement calls on people.  You can say, "Oh, I don't judge!"  But we do.  Someone makes a fb comment and offends us.  And we judge.  We tell ourselves, that's not someone I want to associate with.  They are bad, rude, mean, inappropriate...etc.  We've made a judgement based on a behavior or a comment.  Sometimes rightly, sometimes wrongly.  Sometimes we don't have enough information to make the right decision.  Sometimes we let an offense consume us, or we let it negatively interfere with another relationship.  Me?  I'm guilty.  But I'm working on it!
  There are people in my life that I am cautious with.  I don't necessarily "click" with them.  And I don't chum around with them.  You don't have to.  But, before we ostracize any and everyone who has ever stepped on our toes, or doesn't see eye to eye with us on everything, perhaps we should step back and try to gain a better understanding.  Why were they rude on fb?  Why did they cut you off in the parking lot?  Why is he so arrogant?  People claim to be compassionate about the plight of others, but too often we are all talk.  We don't take time to find out their story.  Maybe the whiny brat in the grocery store just buried his mother.  Maybe the rude waitress at lunch has a cheating husband.  Maybe that offensive friend on fb has a child with emotional issues. 
  In my friends situation, the two offended parties refused to attend an event where the offender would be.  They would miss out on reconnecting with others who would be there, and wanted to see them.  It seems a shame.  The offended person then turned around, and stepped on the toes of another. 
  It's not always best to act on your first response, in other words, don't blurt out what a jerk you think the person is.  Listen to others.  Quit doing all of the talking.  It's not always all about you!  You don't have to be sappy, you don't have to drudge up dirty laundry.  Just be polite, even when you don't necessarily want to be.  There is truth in "You get more flies with honey."  Show concern for others.  You get what you give.  These are just the simple lessons your mom taught you.  Civility.
  I'm not trying to sound preachy, but if we could just take a little time to gain an understanding of others.  If we were not so sensitive, so easily hurt and quick to judge, maybe we'd know how to handle situations differently.  And just maybe... we'd get along.  I think this song sums it up.

1 comment:

  1. What a thoughtful and wise blog. You are right--we all do judge, but if we do as you suggest--perhaps we'll be able to move beyond knee-jerk reactions into a greater understanding.