It's All in My Head!

  I feel good today!!  I feel motivated!  I have to keep the feeling going.  I admit, diet and exercise is a totally MENTAL thing for me.  I don't just mean, it's all in my head, I mean I can be mental about it.  So, I've hired a personal trainer/therapist/body image consultant.  (my title, not his) I told him he should use that title in promotional material...seriously, I think it will help!
  I met him at the gym last night.  He asked how I was doing.  I said I've been wavering between embarrassment and self loathing!  The guy behind the desk chimes in with "It's a 'judgement free zone!'"  This farcical, plastic, happy crap can be a bit annoying!  I'm totally in favor of encouragement, however sometimes you need a little push, or a swift kick in the ...Mind you, this is the gym that keeps tootsie rolls on the counter...um...why??? 
   Anyway, it was a good workout last night.  I'm not Catholic, but I can imagine it's like going to a confessional!  A virtual stranger to whom I confess my deepest, frosted, triple chocolate sins.  I told him I share as much with him as I do my hairstylist.  And for that I get motivated!  I am absolved.  And I am encouraged.  That's what I need!  The accountability.  It's gotten so I don't want to embarrass myself by not meeting my weekly goals.  I've always been a pleaser.  Now I want to please the trainer!  It really is worth the twenty five bucks! 

I'd try anythi....almost anything!!!  lol!

   Today, feeding off the positive vibes of the night before I started a journal and hit the gym!!! (He told me he was proud of me!) Journal, complete with the ugly pics, (the ones that really look like you but you don't post on facebook) and the cute pics of me, the ones from twenty years ago... to motivate!  It's like telling myself, "Remember?  You can look good!"  Yup...it's all my head.